I have no idea what to call this. Give me a minute. (Minute gone). “Hello”

I talked to a colleague this morning.  To say she was hangin in there is an understatement.  Over the weekend two real-estate deals of hers fell through. A third was on a tight rope. Let’s throw another high maintenance client in there and pre-tesing and x-rays for hip replacement surgery in mid-April.  Did I mention that during all this she was/is also taking care of her high maintenace boyfriend, who just had prostrate cancer surgery?

” I told you, 2009 is not going to count. I am just going to write it off.” she said, quite tired over the phone and it was only 11:00am .

 It seems like we are all going through stuff right now. It’s all piled high and it can be so easy to just sit in the corner and have the pity party. I have been doing that as of late. Partying the pity. Come to my party ( just this last time):

Three days before my 18th kidney surgery (over the span of three years) I became blind in my right eye. That was in the beginning of February 2008. I am still blind in that eye. It’s supposed to break and burst according to the doctor.  I don’t see that happening (pardon the pun).

I am unemployed during the worse recession I have ever witnessed.  Worst is, I have no desire to look for work. None. Nada. I have no idea what I want to do. People say I should do the photography thing.  People say I should do the comedy thing.  People say I should do the writing thing. All these things require me to jump off a cliff and I am not ready to do that with one good eye. I may lose it in the freefall!   I am already boring myself. Enough of partying the pity. Closing time.  What did the cool bartenders used to say? “You can stay, but you can’t stay here!” 

 The reason for this blog is to work on my creative outlets. It’s also a way for my sprit to point me in the right direction.  I did not pick the picture I posted. My spirit picked it..and said, “This is what I want you to focus on.  You always have a choice. You always have a choice on how to *see* your obstacles.” It sounds so cliche. It sounds so new agey, but it’s true.  What if I made my obstacles fun? What if I turned them into a game or an improv sketch in my mind?  What if I didn’t see the IRS or Department of Labor as scary? What if I saw them as muppets and thanked for the great expanding experiences my little goofs got me?   And the eye thing, well I can work the whole pirate thing.  people do look at me a bit strange on the subway. It takes all my strength not to say , ” Knife fight! You satsifed?”

2009 will forever be remembered in the history books as a difficult time in our history and I don’t wish to skip it. 2009 is giving me the freedom to look at what I really want.  Someone once said, “You are so free, you can choose bondage!” 

I may not know what I want workwise, but I know I don’t want bondage and I know I want cake.

See? I feel better already. Do I have any cake in the house?